A practical guide to self-soothing for mums: Why it matters
Today’s blog post is a practical guide to soothing your nervous system.
Something we ALL need in our lives but something we often put right down to the bottom of the jobs list. When we operate from a well regulated nervous system we feel calm and in control in even the most challenging situations. (As a mother of a 5 year old I’m finding this self regulation more important than ever)
Why regulating your nervous system is vital in pregnancy and postpartum
Your para sympathetic nervous system feels safe when you are well regulated. It is your para sympathetic nervous system that supports your conception and sustaining of a pregnancy it is also the force behind physiological birth. So if ever there is time to regulate your nervous systems so that it can support you trying to conceive, and pregnancy are the one!
After you have had your baby your body goes through some pretty rapid changes - especially from a hormone point of view. This can be really challenging and having techniques that can bring a sense of calm and control are really beneficial
The other thing that’s changed in your 4th trimester is the addition of a whole new human earth side. Your life has changed forever which for some is really hard. I found the loss of routine, structure and freedom to go anywhere and do anything really challenging first time round. I wish I had had the ability to just pause and check-in with my thoughts and my feelings back then.
As you find your rhythm and your baby grows they are going to put your through periods of broken sleep - sleep deprivation is so unsettling for your nervous system and you can live in a state of fight or flight constantly when seriously sleep deprived, These practices will help your sleep quality even if the quantity is a little lacking
As your babies grow into little people they are going to test you, they are going to challenge your views on how things work, they are going to try your patience. Again these self regulation tools might just help you to parent in a mindful way. Avoiding shouting, or doing the things you said “you’d never do” after your experience as a child
Finally these regulation tools are going to help you manage any challenging situation you find yourself in be it work, home or family life. These skills are life changing
Regulation of your nervous system supports the over all physical and mental well being of you. And it is you who is going to grow, birth and then raise your babies so looking after you is essential. My journey into a better regulated system started in my pregnancy with William. It really established in my second pregnancy and used my magical pregnancy powers to record my online pregnancy yoga an birth preparation programme. You can find out more about this course here. It will completely change not only your pregnancy but your birth experience and life as a mother.
My soothing location with a soothing practice. But self soothing hardly ever really looks like this for me. My self soothing has to come in mini moments snatched between working, being present with my children and all the other general life stuff we have to manage. Read on to find some quick and simple motherhood self soothing techniques. It could just change your life!
Simple Dalily practices to calm your nervous system
Identifying your emotions with this grounding technique.
This is my number one for emotional regulation is pregnancy and postpartum. Identifying the name of the feeling you have during a challenging time. Often your brain starts to run away with this internal dialogue when things go a little off piece. This practice brings you into the here and the now.
When your brain feels full…
Stop what you are doing. stand still. Look around and name 5 things that you can see. Making sure you check at least one object behind you. Then notice 4 sounds you can here. 3 smells or count 3 breaths in through your nose and out through your nose. Then notice the taste in your mouth. Then the temperature of your skin. - this senses check in alone will stop the busy brain and help you to free up your brain of chatter…
But then you ask yourself how you feel inside right now. Most of the time a word will come pretty quickly. You repate the word in your mind. Then you say ok I feel …. but where do I feel that in my body. Give yourself a few moments to be drawn to a body part. Then take 5 breaths into that space.
Continue with your day. You have tuned into a feeling, and rather than forcing it away or burying it you’ve acknowledged it and let it be in your body. From there your subconcious will start to process the emotion and you may release it more quickly.
Journaling for mums: how to offload the mental clutter and tune in.
Journaling in motherhood is so effective and I yet I still struggle to do it regularly! BUT when I do magic really happens. It is often the part of my yoga retreats / Mother circles that get the best feed back too. Putting pen to paper is therapy. You can draw you can write. The aim is simply to get what is in your head on paper in a way that works for you. For example in a recent mothers circle we drew a boat and on our boat were our friends right now… Around the boat in a scene that worked best for the women in the circle they drew other friends new ones old ones and then they started to write words about those friendships.
Alternatively if, like me, drawing is not your vibe then you can simple write every thought or word that comes into your ind onto paper. I guarantee that after word 10 you will start to get to some juicy stuff. And even if all you do is write a to do list it will help to lighten the load in your mind creating space. If you want to learn more about my mothers circles you can follow me @mamawellnesswithchloe on instagram.
Grounding through your feet: reconnect with your body
I call this grounding. Do you feet ever get really hot during bedtime routine or when you sleep. If they do this could be for you. Taking off your socks and placing your feet on the floor in nature. I often do this in the park and take a few deep breaths. It helps to connect your body to the present movement often with texture and feeling (especially if it is cold!) The sensation brings you into the here and now and stops the chatter in your mind. Thus regulating the nervous system.
You can also do this inside and lift all your toes away from the ground then lower them from little toe through to little toe one by one… then reverse it lifting all the toes agin but this time lowering from the big toe to the little toe one by one. This is a great practice to spread your feet out. And it can help you pelvic floor! I have a mini course all about the pelvic floor and we cover the feet and how they can support your management of pelvic hip and back pain! Click here to find out more.
How scent can support your pregnancy, birth and 4th trimester journey
Another really tangible technique for regulating your nervous system and that will really help you in labour and the 4th trimester is aromatherapy for pregnancy in other words appealing to your sense of smell! Smell for me is my over riding sense . It impacts my emotional state. Things like lavender pillow sprays or rose essential oils in a diffuser are great ways to invite calm into your mind and body.
I use incense to bring a feeling of security because that for me immediately brings me into a safe place in my head. As a pre and postnatal yoga teacher it makes sense that I would feel relaxed a calm smelling incense as I spend my life creating spaces that invoke those feelings through movement, breath work and holding space for mothers from conception to birth.
Aromatherapy Oils in post partum and wonderful to I use Rose Essential oils (Nikura) check out their stuff here https://nikura.com/pages/home on my skin (mixed with a carrier oil), rose has helped me to really connect to the feminine part of me since I had Beatrice and I have used the beautiful fragrance daily on my womb space to welcome back my cycle and after only 2 months my periods returned. The trick with things like smell a little bit like touch and sight is regular use! If you want to use them to help you feel safe in labour, birth and beyond you must practice using the smell or the touch or the image when you feel safe. Over time your brain then connects the feeling and the sense stimulus to the feeling of safety and security.
For example You could use lavender on your pillow and listen to your fave music that helps you to feel sleepy and relaxed. If you use the smell and the music and fell asleep every night for a month your brain would start to associate both the smell and the music with going to sleep or being relaxed.
This is a great tool for pregnancy and birth preparation. You could use smell in early labour to help you stay calm and indeed on the transition to and in hospital for birth. You could also use this daily in your 4th trimester as sleep deprivation and a change to your “normal life” will put you into a state of fight or flight and using smell could just help your nervous system soften into motherhood with gentleness.
Drink to heal: ginger tea and postpartum rituals
This might seem like an odd one but again it works on stimulating one of the senses to bring a feeling of calm and relaxation. For me postpartum drinking fresh ginger in chia tea brings a gentle feeling of warmth and healing right into my abdomen. The taste helps me to feel grounded and brings sensation to a part of my body I am really trying to nurture and heal at this point in my life. Heat is healing and ginger is one of the best spices to use for bringing heat to the abdomen after birth. Literally healing you from the inside out!
There is a certain element of ritual to ALL of theses things. Like mini nurturing ceremonies you can do for yourself each day to really nourish your nervous system.
I don’t propose you do all of these things. Maybe you try them al and find the one that works best and then integrate that one thing into your daily life.
I started with lavendar spray in my pregnancy with William. It’s taken 5 years to build up my little tool kit and yours will very likely differ from mine but these are just just suggestions for self regulation. To get your brain thinking.
Create your own nervous system toolkit with me!
Click here to have a sneak peak at my access any time online pregnancy yoga and birth preparation programme OR click here to access my FREE flows and pregnancy recourses. There are 4 great resources all in one simply click right here!
